Now, my personal collection, save two dolls that were gifts, consists entirely of dolls that were made by myself. That’s just how I like it. I love to surround myself with my work and be proud of it. I frequently take my reborns out shopping and have business cards on hand just in case people ask about them. I don’t expect much, seeing as I’ve gone through 500 business cards that way and only gotten one local customer, but I enjoy sharing my passion and explaining what reborns are all about. I brought two dolls from my personal collection to the doll show, both of which I made. Lilia in the stroller, and Davanee wrapped in a Muslin blanket ring sling on my shoulder (both pictured below). I considered bringing just one, but they both have different appeals and I couldn’t make up my mind. Davanee is a sleeping beauty with rooted hair and definitely the more realistic of the two, especially cuddling on my shoulder. Lilia is doll-like though still incredibly realistic with wide brown eyes and painted hair, more appealing to the kind of people who might find Davie’s realism “creepy”. Also, I figured Lilia would be the one I would allow people to hold, if they were interested. I’m quite fussy with Davanee’s hair and would rather people not touch it.
As soon as I got to the show, I was amazed by the history and the uniqueness and the beauty of each and every doll, most of them antiques and collectibles. I saw my friend Diana, another local, who has a collection of over 800 dolls! I made it a priority to talk to every vender, learning about different types of dolls and how they were made, and in return, understandably, they asked about my reborns. I shared how they were made, what kind of people collect them, their therapeutic benefits, and where you can find artists. If they asked, I did tell them that I made my dolls. If anyone asked about selling, I told them that my dolls were not for sale and that I run my business online. People told me they would love to see me having a table there one day, and I replied with gratitude and a “maybe someday”, being sure to change the subject back to the venders.
You see, I was being a little overly cautious. I had been to one doll show before, DEDS 2014, and I got a little over-excited. I had subscribers on YouTube and followers on Instagram who were attending the show, and everyone has their “favorite baby”, so when I couldn’t make up my mind which few to take, I found a way to take them all in a stroller! All I knew about doll shows is what I had heard from a customer, how she went to one with a wagon of her dolls trying to sell her collection. I had one doll who was for sale at the time and initially thought I could bring him to sell. Fortunately, someone warned me about that in time - that you are not allowed to sell dolls on the floor, and they will kick you out. I still brought the doll because he was my only biracial baby and I wanted some variation, but I did not ever mention he was for sale. In my excitement to share my collection, I talked to as many people as I could. But I made it clear that no dolls were for sale. If people asked I would say that I make customs, and I brought my business cards just in case. I was twice approached and asked if I was selling on the floor. The first time I assured the woman I wasn’t, and she left. The second time I was worried about what I was doing that was apparently “receiving complaints” so told her about the business cards and asked if I was not allowed to mention my customs. She reassured me that sharing my collection was completely fine, as was sharing business cards, but their only rule was that dolls were not to be sold on the floor. When I eventually left I was actually very upset that this happened, but in hindsight I’m glad they actually asked me what I was doing and allowed me to explain that I had no intentions of breaking the rules.
Now, back to the Virginia Beach show. Around an hour in I was talking to the lady who ran the show and she mentioned that their website said reborns aren't allowed. I of course apologized and thanked her for letting me in anyway, and later thanked the man at the door, too (since apparently it was his rule). I reassured her that I have been to a doll show before and I know the rules on selling dolls, and that it was never my intention to advertise. Only to share. I subtly fished for a suggestion that I take the dolls back to my car, just because if they truly didn’t want me having them I wanted to assure them that I could comply, but she didn’t say anything about it.
(Referencing their website now, and this is the only thing they mention about bringing dolls to the show: "We will have someone doing Doll Repairs for "local" folks. She will not be making repairs at the Show but taking them to her shop. You may bring your dolls to the show and leave them with her.")
Every single person was so friendly and nice, from sellers to buyers. Despite the fact that I was 20 years old in a room full of people who could be my parents and grandparents, I felt very welcome. I learned a lot about the community, which is different from the reborn community. While reborns are growing, we are slowly losing the community of antique, porcelain, Madame Alexander, etc. collectors which is a shame. I learned that there was a local doll collector group in my area and gave the woman who told me about it my business card so she could email me. I also gave a card to a woman in the hotel lobby who was not attending the doll show, I just ran into her when I was at the water fountain. I didn't even bring business cards for distribution; I just had two left over in my wallet. This may all be insignificant but I'm trying to detail every last thing I did that might have given people the wrong idea. Bottom line: I am an enthusiastic and social person who loves to share my passions with like-minded people.
About two hours in, I passed through once again, stopping by the table of the absolute sweetest elderly couple you will ever meet, with the kindest smiles in the world! I believe the wife's name was Filomena Dickenson. She offered me a discount (for the third time, bless her heart!) on a beautiful Madame Alexander that caught my eye and once again reached in to give my reborn Lilia's hand a little squeeze. I told her I regrettably had no room for more in my collection but thanked her anyway. Considering I had been around the room several times now, she jokingly called back to me "Come back around again, sweetheart!" And I turned around and said "I will! Probably seven or eight more times!"
Then I turned back around to a $5 bill in my face. The lady who ran the show sternly said "No you won't." Having been through this before at my last doll show, I was honestly really frustrated to have it happen again even after taking such care to tip-toe around what I could say about my work, but I didn't let it show.
"You're not buying anything and you're trying to sell."
That's exactly what she said. I explained to her that my dolls are not for sale, nor do I have any for sale that I've mentioned, nor do I have any intention of getting business at the show.
The lady told me "You are, and everyone knows you are."
And that was the end of that. I took my money and left.
Now I know every doll show is different. I’ve been told by many that it’s just a learning experience. The rules there are in place for a reason, and that I completely understand. However, the problem I have encountered at two doll shows now is that the rules were never really clear unless they were broken. And if they are broken, they will throw you out.
“You’re not buying anything.”
Is this really a crime? I did come with some money—granted, only $20—just in case I found a cute vintage photoshoot prop for the reborns. After one pass around I figured I would not be buying anything but that didn’t stop me from passing around twenty more times, admiring such artwork! And of course, as many dolly people know, it is a very rare occasion that so many collectors are in one place. Did I maybe linger by some dolls hoping to strike up a conversation with a seller or collector about it? Sure! I never get the chance to talk and learn about dolls in person. Each pass around the room gave me another opportunity to meet and talk to someone.
“You’re trying to sell.”
As mentioned before, I clearly was not trying to sell either of the dolls I brought. The only dolls I did have for sale had only been posted on social media. I never once brought them up at the show. I’m in a tricky situation, owning dolls made by myself. Tell someone the artist of your reborn when they ask and no one bats an eye, but if that artist is you everyone loses their minds! When people asked about what I did with my dolls, I told them that I made custom orders for people, intentionally speaking about it as something I do, and not something I’m advertising right here and now. The same way someone would be talking about their custom knitwear side-business or something along those lines.
“You are and everyone knows you are.”
This hurt me the most. I had had nothing but pleasant interactions with each and every person at the show. And here, this lady tells me that the venders have complained. I can’t help but wonder—why didn’t they tell me? I can’t imagine, if someone were trying to sell a doll at a show, that they would continue to try once they were told it wasn’t permitted. Not with all of the online resources out there for selling dolls. A simple “Did you just give her a business card? We’d rather you not do that here,” or “Could you please not mention that you make the dolls?” or “Would you mind taking your dolls back out to your car, so as not to distract the customers?” would have been completely fine by me. I would have LOVED to know what the rules were up-front. I don’t have the luxury of a veteran doll show attendee who has adapted to the rules. I started as a YouTuber, sharing my dolls and my story for the world, and that’s how I approached the shows.
The doll community is a very kind and loving one, but it can also be—for lack of a better word—two-faced. Not in a malicious way, but people like to “play nice” for the greater good, which is absolutely fine and makes for a friendly atmosphere! But I feel this kind of mentality is part of the reason no one told me I was doing anything wrong until I got kicked out.
As I’ve said a few times now, the rules are surely there for a reason. People who have bought a table should not be losing business to those who haven’t. And I’m a very isolated case with sort of an extreme circumstance, but I do think the doll shows would benefit from a clear set of rules. On the website, and at the show. Rules that people will share before they are broken. Granted, I’ve only been to two shows so maybe some of them already have this. Still, when everyone is familiar with the rules and everyone participates in informing others of them, I’m sure there will be less issue. Maybe a seller wants to try and break the rules, but they are probably searching for a buyer who doesn’t know the rules in place. And it can work in the reverse too! It just takes one person knowing the rules to stop this from happening. And if there’s any question of it, pointing to a list of them on a wall or at the main table would surely help.
I am sorry if I sound like this is such an easy thing to fix, because I know it isn’t. I just wanted to bring up the issue. I’ve had it twice now and I can only assume there are a few others out there who might have encountered something similar. And to those who manage and help run the doll shows, first of all, YOU ARE AMAZING. I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT, BUT I’M SO GLAD YOU DO! Second, please don’t be afraid to tell someone what they are doing wrong before it gets to the point of doll show eviction. Third, I would love to hear what you think about this situation, if it’s a problem you run into at every show, and how we as attendees can help share the rules for a more enjoyable experience all around.